Hospitality is something I’ve had a love/hate relationship with. For as long as I can remember I have loved the idea of a big gathering in my home, but I would become overwhelmed in the days and hours leading up to the event. Now, I’ve given myself permission to keep it simple and seldom. On the rare occasion when we host a gathering, I order the food. I order good food. I don’t slave in the kitchen. My back and feet aren’t screaming at me the next day. Keeping it simple and seldom is my new normal.
This is such a great article, Keri! I have struggled with the idea of hospitality, but for different reasons than Susy (even though I totally get her point too). I love people but have a shy side and often feels awkward. Living with my parents means I can't "have friends over." When I was married, I tried to invited guests for dinner only to feel snubbed by many of the couples I reached out to. Turned out, they liked me but not my husband, which left me feeling like being with me wasn't worth having him in the mix.
Add my inability to drive, which means friends have to pick me up if we want to do something, and, lets just say I know a true friend when that isn't a big deal.
So for me, "hospitality" resurrects feelings of not having a space to invite people into, and facing the possibility of rejection when I try. It has meant not feeling like an equal among my peers. However, I have also learned that, because I can't have people over for dinner and know what it's like to feel left or cast aside, I am natural "includer." I am learned to see that as my form of hospitality.
I think you're right that we have hospitality all wrong. It's simply making others feel welcome and comfortable.
Thanks so much for your honest sharing. I have to say that I saw you interacting with writers at the conference, and you certainly showed them warmth, welcome, and hospitality. Sometimes we have to find a work-around when life makes inviting people into our home more challenging. I hope you'll read the previous newsletter (Baby steps...) as it offers some other paths to non-traditional hospitality. One way I've practiced welcoming is by visiting a refugee familly. I'm welcoming them to our country and into my life--in their home, not mine. They've reciprocated by feeding me and welcoming me as well. Thanks again for commenting and subscribing!
I used to think much like Susy about the H-word, but when I shifted to entertaining outdoors, everything changed for me. I realized that people love sitting outside for a picnic or a campfire. That can be in my own yard, or on a favorite boulder in a favorite creek up a favorite trail, or along the side of the river right near town. When I started inviting people to join us in those types of places--either as a BYO or a potluck or me bringing a little picnic for all of us, I started to love the H-word.
Now that we are preparing for a nomadic life, living out of our truck as we travel the world, I am so excited to practice hospitality all over the world. In fact, I have been brainstorming lately on the idea of holding regular "Sacred Suppers," really just glorified potlucks, but with the intent of meeting other travelers and locals we meet, and hearing their stories, while we break bread together. I'd like to perhaps sing the Doxology at the beginning of the meal--inviting people to join us if they know it--then just enjoy getting to know everyone who shows up. I'm sure God could use those times to bless us and those who join us.
Sherry-- I could not love this more. You are living the welcoming and wandering life! Thanks for sharing. I hope you'll write about your travels in your Substack. Susy and I went hiking this last weekend, and I felt welcomed to her world as we hiked trails she loves and had a picnic on the grounds of her favorite ski lodge.
I will absolutely be writing about my travels. We went to Africa to visit extended family this past summer. This coming December, we are headed to Southeast Asia to see more extended family. Then we hit the road as permanent, full-time overlanders. We have sold nearly everything and are so close to being ready to go!
Hospitality is something I’ve had a love/hate relationship with. For as long as I can remember I have loved the idea of a big gathering in my home, but I would become overwhelmed in the days and hours leading up to the event. Now, I’ve given myself permission to keep it simple and seldom. On the rare occasion when we host a gathering, I order the food. I order good food. I don’t slave in the kitchen. My back and feet aren’t screaming at me the next day. Keeping it simple and seldom is my new normal.
I love this. Thanks for your insights and sharing your story!
When I hear the word hospitality, I think about the dustbunnies in the corners of my house. Eeeek!!!!
And I think about that cozy recliner and how your house feels like home to me!
This is such a great article, Keri! I have struggled with the idea of hospitality, but for different reasons than Susy (even though I totally get her point too). I love people but have a shy side and often feels awkward. Living with my parents means I can't "have friends over." When I was married, I tried to invited guests for dinner only to feel snubbed by many of the couples I reached out to. Turned out, they liked me but not my husband, which left me feeling like being with me wasn't worth having him in the mix.
Add my inability to drive, which means friends have to pick me up if we want to do something, and, lets just say I know a true friend when that isn't a big deal.
So for me, "hospitality" resurrects feelings of not having a space to invite people into, and facing the possibility of rejection when I try. It has meant not feeling like an equal among my peers. However, I have also learned that, because I can't have people over for dinner and know what it's like to feel left or cast aside, I am natural "includer." I am learned to see that as my form of hospitality.
I think you're right that we have hospitality all wrong. It's simply making others feel welcome and comfortable.
Jeanette
Thanks so much for your honest sharing. I have to say that I saw you interacting with writers at the conference, and you certainly showed them warmth, welcome, and hospitality. Sometimes we have to find a work-around when life makes inviting people into our home more challenging. I hope you'll read the previous newsletter (Baby steps...) as it offers some other paths to non-traditional hospitality. One way I've practiced welcoming is by visiting a refugee familly. I'm welcoming them to our country and into my life--in their home, not mine. They've reciprocated by feeding me and welcoming me as well. Thanks again for commenting and subscribing!
I used to think much like Susy about the H-word, but when I shifted to entertaining outdoors, everything changed for me. I realized that people love sitting outside for a picnic or a campfire. That can be in my own yard, or on a favorite boulder in a favorite creek up a favorite trail, or along the side of the river right near town. When I started inviting people to join us in those types of places--either as a BYO or a potluck or me bringing a little picnic for all of us, I started to love the H-word.
Now that we are preparing for a nomadic life, living out of our truck as we travel the world, I am so excited to practice hospitality all over the world. In fact, I have been brainstorming lately on the idea of holding regular "Sacred Suppers," really just glorified potlucks, but with the intent of meeting other travelers and locals we meet, and hearing their stories, while we break bread together. I'd like to perhaps sing the Doxology at the beginning of the meal--inviting people to join us if they know it--then just enjoy getting to know everyone who shows up. I'm sure God could use those times to bless us and those who join us.
Sherry-- I could not love this more. You are living the welcoming and wandering life! Thanks for sharing. I hope you'll write about your travels in your Substack. Susy and I went hiking this last weekend, and I felt welcomed to her world as we hiked trails she loves and had a picnic on the grounds of her favorite ski lodge.
I will absolutely be writing about my travels. We went to Africa to visit extended family this past summer. This coming December, we are headed to Southeast Asia to see more extended family. Then we hit the road as permanent, full-time overlanders. We have sold nearly everything and are so close to being ready to go!