Travel: an invitation to self-discovery

Who are you? What do you prefer? Where do you want to go?

It’s summer. Many of you may be embarking on a vacation in the coming months. Travel allows us to explore, to discover a place we’ve perhaps not been before. Perhaps this idea excites you, perhaps it terrifies you.

Travel also allows us to discover not just places, but things we did not know about ourselves. It takes us out of our comfort zone and stretches us, invites us to problem solve in a way we might not have to in our daily routine. It invites us to reflect on who we are and how we respond to life’s unexpected challenges.

Wandering invites you to walk a path of self-discovery. To ask, what do I love? What do I enjoy?

How would you answer that question? What do you like to do? What sort of travel would you enjoy? Do you prefer the mountains or the beach? Skiing or sunbathing? A week of sightseeing or a week of complete relaxation? Do you want to take a tour where someone else handles the details, or plan each day yourself? Or would you rather just explore without much of an agenda?

Do you even know? Not just about travel, but about life: what do you prefer? Does that seem like a radical question? One you’ve not often considered?

Many of us, especially women, especially moms, often don’t even know how to answer that question. We’re not sure what we’d love to do, because we’ve never considered it. Or if we do know, we tuck it away and put others’ preferences front and center.

There are times to do that, certainly. When my kids were small, we did a couple of national park trips. But we took them several times to Disney World because we had friends who lived in Orlando that we could stay with—and our kids loved Disney.

But do I love Disney? Would I do it again that way? I only knew what I knew at the time. I wish I could have taken my kids to Europe instead of Epcot. But I was limited by both our budget and my own imagination.

I’ve since gotten to know myself a bit better. And come to a place where I can answer confidently: I don’t want to look at a fake Eiffel Tower or watch a parade. I want to hike, to explore, to be outdoors in the real world. I want to visit places I’ve never been before.

What do you want? What would you prefer? Where do you want to wander?

When we wander, we also challenge our own capabilities and in so doing, get to marvel at our own ability to meet challenges. We grow in our ability to do hard things by doing hard things. And we get to figure out what we like by trying things out. We have the opportunity to discover who we are and what we’d prefer.

Travel never goes exactly as expected, even when you are a fastidious planner like me. But if you tell yourself that ahead of time, and see travel as an opportunity for self-discovery, you can enjoy the unexpected. In a way, you plan for the unplanned and remind yourself to look for serendipitous moments. (I’m preaching to myself here!)

This summer I am ignoring my own advice to travel during shoulder season (spring and fall). My husband and I are going to one of the busiest national parks in the country, during its peak month. (This may be a decision we come to regret.) But for now, I’m telling myself careful planning will make it go more smoothly.

Our decision to travel in July came in part because that’s when we can go, for several reasons. My husband works for a school district, so he’s off in the summer. We’re visiting a national park but also my daughter and son-in-law on this trip, and these are the dates that work best for everyone.

I am a planner by nature. My husband is not. Which is why I sometimes travel without him, and why I do all our planning when we travel together.

There have been times where I’ve wrestled with resentment over the fact that I am the one doing the work of planning. But lately, I’ve realized, I actually enjoy research and planning—it’s part of the fun and challenge.

I comb through websites, reserve a hotel and a car, grab a timed entry ticket to the park as soon as they go on sale, read descriptions of various hiking trails, and find myself enjoying the process. The anticipation of hiking to a lake, or driving through the mountains, brings its own joy.

Are you traveling this summer? Where are you going? Where do you want to go? Do those align? Why or why not?

P.S. If anyone has visited Rocky Mountain National Park in summer, I’d love your suggestions or advice.