The pre-holiday life edit
Five “life edits” to reduce holiday stress
A significant part of my work involves editing: books, articles, newsletters. Written words need creative power, then restrained revision to channel that power more pointedly. I edit my own writing, and folks hire me to edit theirs. I’ve learned over the years that what you take out is just as important as what you leave in.
Photo by Ron Lach : https://www.pexels.com/
Thanksgiving is now two weeks away. This time of year is a time for welcoming. But for the past eight years, our holiday tables have sometimes become a place of conflict, of political arguments. This year, I’ve seen online chatter from folks who don’t even want to sit at the same table with those who voted differently. Just as you wouldn’t put something toxic on your holiday table, you can also choose not to have toxic people gather around it.
I normally host Thanksgiving, and the guest list typically includes some of my husband’s family members, with whom I differ politically. That’s going to be hard this year, and I’m not sure how to handle it, other than to declare that there will be no political discussions at my table. I’m figuring out how to choose love but maintain strong boundaries.
As the holidays approach, I am thinking about how to edit my life, my schedule, my home, in order to simply love myself and others.
I got home from a work trip Monday night this week, and the house was in the usual chaos it falls into when I’m gone. A pile of mail on one counter, clutter everywhere. I sorted and edited, throwing away a week’s worth of junk mail. I asked my husband about a piece of correspondence I’d been expecting. “Oh, yeah, it’s on the table under that black thing.” The “black thing” is his large rectangular business checkbook ledger. I lift it up to find another pile of mail, including the aforementioned correspondence. Sigh.
I spent most of Tuesday editing the mess, straightening things, throwing away things, clearing counters and tables. My husband prefers to have everything in sight, scattered. I prefer things a bit neater—though I’m no minimalist and my spaces can descend into clutter quite rapidly.
The holidays are a time when things can slide into chaos. So right now, before things get crazy, I’m editing.
When I edit a piece of writing, I take words out. I rearrange sentences to make them more concise, clearer. I often think of editing as “cleaning up” a piece of writing. Sometimes, I add carefully selected words, to offer a new way of expressing things, a fresher perspective.
Maybe you want to do the same with your life these next two months. Here are a handful of ways I’m planning to do that. As you look at this list, pay attention to what resonates with you. You don’t have to do it all.
Here are five ways to edit your life to prepare for the upcoming holiday season.
Edit your holiday guest list, or interactions, in whatever way you need to. If you need to skip gathering, or gather with different people, that’s okay.
Edit your decorating. I am not a decorations person, but during the holidays I feel compelled, obligated, to do so. I look at holiday magazines or Pinterest and convince myself that I should make homemade ornaments or whatever. Strive for simplicity. Put out just a few things that bring you joy, leave the rest in the boxes or even get rid of them.
Edit your spending. Decide now to not shop when you’re tired or cranky. Decide what you really need and don’t need. Set a budget for gifts and even for food. Talk to your family about expectations. Last year, my husband, daughter, son-in-law and I drew names. We each bought the person we’d drawn a book. And we went on vacation together. We didn’t buy additional gifts. It was lovely.
Edit your schedule by adding in self-care right now. At this time of year, we inadvertently mix up a cocktail of doing too much, eating too much, drinking too much, and blowing off any exercise routine we might have. Rather than waiting to make a New Year’s resolution to get in shape, decide now to care for your body through the holidays. Schedule times to exercise. Choose to eat something healthy—fruit or veggies—every day. Choose to go for a walk every day.
Edit your social media consumption. There is so much available to argue with right now. There’s so much that might stress you out and suck your time. Instead of scrolling, bundle up and go for a walk. Instead of commenting with snark online, call a friend and just ask how they’re doing. Visit with friends in real life instead of online.
Now I want to hear from you! How are you planning to edit your life this holiday season? What will you add, what will you discard?
When we reduce the physical and emotional clutter, we are better able to be fully present. Another great tool for that: my Advent devotional The Gift of Christmas Present. This little book guides you through the month of December with short reflections on hope, peace, love and joy, the traditional themes of Advent. Advent starts the Sunday after Thanksgiving, so order your copy here.
