The day before I flew to California, I checked in online. Okay, flight at 8:57, that means I need to leave the house by 7:15 or so (I like to be early). I was packed, I was ready. I set my alarm.
The next morning, my husband drove me to the airport. On a Saturday morning, we didn’t need to worry about traffic. I got through security quickly and easily (thank you TSA pre-check!). I had extra time so I stood in line at Starbucks to get a coffee and breakfast sandwich. I checked the departures board but didn’t see my flight just yet. Many it was too early to post just yet?
My electronic boarding pass showed gate H-17, so I made my way there. I sat down and looked at my phone again. “Boarding in 12 hours and 32 minutes” flashed across the screen. Wait. What?
Photo by Connecting Flights Guide: https://www.pexels.com/
The familiar terminal suddenly felt like another planet. I looked closer at my boarding pass. Yep, my flight was at 8:57 alright. 8:57 P.M.
The morning sun streamed through the windows and I felt a little dizzy. “Are you kidding me?” I asked myself out loud.
I had changed the flight a few weeks back, moving it from Wednesday to Saturday because of a work obligation. I was so excited to see a flight available for a reasonable amount of points that I grabbed it. Apparently, I grabbed a little too quickly.
I went to a gate agent and told a very short version of my sad story. He directed me to customer service at another gate. After standing in line for a while, I learned that I could go standby on the next direct flight, which was at 5:05 p.m., without a change fee. I could not go standby on an indirect flight—a rule I just learned. If you have booked a direct flight, you can only go standby on a flight that is also direct. Or, I could pay (a lot) to change my flight. Because the mistake was not the airline’s fault, they couldn’t book me on another carrier.
I texted Scot, who thankfully laughed., even though by this point he was already home. “You did what?” he asked. He came back to O’Hare (a 25-minute drive on a Saturday) and got me. I went home, went for a run, showered, did housework. I called my mom to tell her she wasn’t picking me up at the San Diego airport until much later than we’d planned. “You did what?” she asked.
At about 3, Scot drove me back to the airport (yes, that is three airport runs in one day—he wins husband of the year award) and I was able to get on the 5 pm. flight’s standby list. With no delays, I was in San Diego four hours later.
This is an embarrassing story to tell, especially because I am a frequent traveler. This year, I have traveled every month, sometimes several times a month. I have booked numerous flights. I have no excuse except hurry and distraction, which could be the subject of an entire post.
But mistakes happen. And in them, we can sometimes unearth a treasure. A hidden gift.
My parents, who are very healthy and active 80-somethings. The thing that confounds them most is technology. The week before I came, their email provider, Cox, switched all its email accounts over to Yahoo mail. (Google it if you want more details.) Attempting to switch their account from Cox to Yahoo had taken my parents hours. They’d even enlisted the help of a friend but still weren’t sure it was correct.
They’d asked if, when I visited, I could help. They felt very frustrated.
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio: https://www.pexels.com/
The process seemed fairly straightforward. I wasn’t sure why it had been so complicated—Cox had sent an email explaining how to move, and they didn’t even have to change email addresses. They did have to set up new passwords.
Then again, making an airline reservation to a place I visit three times a year shouldn’t be that complicated either, right?
My own mistake (which I still can’t believe I actually made) filled me with empathy and patience for my parents, who work very hard to wrap their minds around how the internet works. Their frustration leads them to believe that “they’re deliberately trying to make it difficult for old people!”
We got them connected to their email. I also helped my dad access an online training course he had to complete to continue volunteering at the hospital. Even though he drives a golf cart through the parking lot to shuttle patients from their cars to the door, he had to go through all the training on emergency procedures and so on. Maybe the whole ‘they’re trying to make it difficult” is more accurate than we think.
My point is: mistakes happen. When we travel, things will go wrong. You sort of have to expect it. Sometimes it’s our fault and sometimes it’s something totally beyond our control.
In fact, when we live, things will go wrong. We are imperfect beings in an imperfect world.
But making that mistake helped me to be patient with my parents. I felt nothing but empathy for their struggles with technology because—I had obviously been tripped up by technology. Or by simply not paying close enough attention. What if making mistakes grows us up? If it makes us kinder and more patient? What if making mistakes makes us somehow better?
We all make mistakes. I think we are often harder on ourselves about our flub-ups than we are on others. But our imperfection is a gift, as Brené Brown has pointed out.
When we fool ourselves into thinking we are always going to succeed, always going to get it right, we do three things. First, we miss the chance to learn—because mistakes are how we learn. Second, we miss the opportunity to show grace to ourselves—which is often the hardest person to show grace to. And third, we might just walk right past an invitation to love our neighbor. What if our mistakes provide a little moment to be more welcoming, more loving, more empathetic?
While I hope you don’t accidentally book a flight for 12 hours later than you intended to, I do want to remind you that when you make your next mistake, stop and pause. Look for the opportunities it provides to grow, to love, and to extend grace—to yourself, and the people around you.
My husband and I made several BIG mistakes during our recent three months backpacking in Southeast Asia. I miscalculated what day we would be arriving in Singapore after crossing the International Date Line. We missed a boat because when we relied on outdated information. We forgot (!!!) to prearrange our required visas to go from Laos to Vietnam. We once booked a train to the wrong city and found ourselves dumped unceremoniously onto the train tracks, far from our intended destination. We failed to apply for our ETA to enter Australia, mistakenly assuming that "no visa required" meant we were free of any necessary advance paperwork. We were able to resolve four of those mistakes without too much trouble or expense, although it was a hassle and a bit stressful. The other one ended up costing us a decent chunk of money and quite a few more gray hairs. BUT, we learned from all of them; we gained experience, and we got to practice not panicking, handling ourselves and each other with grace, and figuring things out on the fly. Looking back, all were worthwhile experiences. 💜