The courage to change the things I can...

Jumping into 2025 brave and wise

Happy New Year, Welcoming & Wandering readers!

Perhaps you cross the threshold of this new year with joy and anticipation, or perhaps trepidation or even fear. We don’t really know what the year will hold. I believe this is a year to seek clarity about what we can control and what we can’t. And then, to live bold and brave, despite our uncertainty.

I’ve been wandering the past couple of weeks. Visiting family, and skiing with my kids. We hit the slopes of Sugar Bowl, a great little resort in the Tahoe area. The mountains are lovely, but this trip wasn’t what we’d hoped, frankly. The first day, it was raining. We skied anyway, hoping it would turn to snow, until the rain soaked though four layers of clothes and forced us to cut the day short. The second day, it was snowing, with gusty winds. The wind made it feel cold, but the temp was right around freezing and the snow was wet and sleety. Again, we were soon soaked and back in the lodge, wrapping our frozen fingers around mugs of hot chocolate. Soon, high winds forced the resort to close down the chair lifts.

(This is a stock photo but it kinda looked like this. Photo by Anna Shvets: https://www.pexels.com/)

When you choose the adventure of travel, it is sometimes that: an adventure. Things don’t always go as planned. But my husband and I got to spend time with my daughter and son-in-law. We had a fun night out at a sports bar in Truckee, CA, eating pizza, drinking local beers, and watching a football game.

We saw a beautiful part of the Sierra Nevada mountains and got a few good runs in before the weather won the battle. But making memories is not only about perfect experiences but facing challenges together. Any time I have with my kids, because it’s rare, is precious to me. If skiing in the rain is part of that, okay. We will always remember this trip.

In the coming year, you may make plans that don’t turn out the way you hoped. You may face disappointment. You may end up cold and shivering when you didn’t expect it. But hopefully, you’ll keep on looking for adventure, wandering the world, doing hard things and finding the silver linings. It is the adventures that bring joy—even if they are imperfect.

Photo by Anna Shvets: https://www.pexels.com/

I sometimes find myself worried about the future: of my family, of our country, of so many things. But if this weekend of unexpected challenges reminded me, we can’t change our circumstances, but we can change our response.

For me, the serenity prayer looms large:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

You cannot, for example, change the behavior of others. Perhaps over the holidays you got to experience this truth as you interacted with family members? But you can change how you respond to their behavior. You can even change the amount of time you spend with them, the boundaries you set.

What things do you want to change in the coming year? This is the time of year we often make resolutions, set goals, and think about change. What would it look like to muster the courage to change the things you can?

At the turn of the year, I like to set a few measurable, specific goals. I tend to frame these not around results (a thing I can’t always control) but rather around practices or habits I want to build.

For example, I long ago stopped setting goals to attain a certain weight or size or look. Instead, I set a goal of moving every day, and running four days a week. Not to lose weight, but to feel strong, keep my mental health in balance, to simply have fun. When I run, I’m happier. I sleep better, I am kinder. Rather than just trying really hard to be better, I engage in a habit which has as a fortunate side effect of a positive attitude.

Maybe you would also like to wander. To travel, and by so doing, see the world in a new and fresh way. Rather than “travel more,” you might make specific goal of taking one trip to a place you’ve not been before. Perhaps you’ll set a goal of setting aside a certain sum of money each month to help fund that trip. Maybe you’ll decide to walk every day to prepare for a hiking trip.

Maybe this newsletter has inspired you to practice hospitality. How, specifically, would you like to do that? Maybe you’ll decide to invite someone over for a meal once a month. Maybe you’ll want to read through the archives of this Substack to get other ideas about how to practice welcoming: by loving your neighbor, by showing kindness to strangers, by simply shifting your definition of hospitality to welcoming your own family.

What one thing will you do in 2025 to accept what you cannot change, and to act with courage to change the things you can?